There is one word that could describe my morning. Overwhelmed.
Teaching four different grades with a bonus baby who is teething would not be ideal circumstances for anyone I suppose. But regardless, we must! So I’m flipping through pages, helping sound out words, reading lessons and trying to push through all of the noise.
The atmosphere around me feels like chaos and my mind is whirling with frustration and impatience. In the background, there is the fussy bonus baby who can’t decide if she wants to be held, sleep, or adventure off to find the dog water dish. My six year old’s volume is always set to max and she flutters between annoying the baby to interrupting my lesson to show me her hang nail. She asks me for the fifteenth time if she can have a yogurt even though I’ve said, “No” fourteen times. And all the while my other three girls stare up at me, waiting for me to continue teaching as I flop into the chair and fight the urge to throw my hands up and walk away. This is my reality today. This is my reality most days. If it weren’t for Jesus I would have pressed the “easy” button a long time ago. How tempting it is to give up when the pressure starts to press in and the grass on the other side starts to look so fresh and restful!
Ironically, we are studying the book of James in school this year! Today’s verse and discussion focused on James 1:2-4.
As I rocked bonus baby for her afternoon nap after school was complete God brought the Hymn, The Rock that is Higher than I into my head. This hymn is partially based on Psalms 18:31-32.
“It is God!” It is God who will use my humble imperfect offerings and perfect them. It is because of God and His strength and power that I will get through my days and accomplish the goals set before me! And the struggles and messiness that often accompany, God is using to help me be more like Him! He is teaching me how to persevere and refining me in so many ways! I may get weary and start to feel overwhelmed from time to time, but when I start to feel that way, I must look to God! Fly to the Rock higher. The days can sometimes be long, but time is so short. I won’t ever be a perfect mom, teacher, wife, or friend but God can take this imperfect vessel and use me to accomplish his perfect plans! Oh what a joy!
O sometimes how long seems the day,
And sometimes how weary my feet;
But toiling in life’s dusty way,
The Rock’s blessed shadow, how sweet!
O then to the Rock let me fly,
To the Rock that is higher than I;
O then to the Rock let me fly
To the Rock that is higher than I!
The Rock that is Higher Than I by Erastus Johnson