A Season of Weeping

I have talked a lot about moving here to Utah, as it has been such a huge part of my life within these last 10 months. My heart has never been stretched in a way that leaves me so in awe of Jesus. It is difficult because I miss my family and friends in Maine. But, I know that in all the sorrowful places where tears lie, we grow.

“He who goes to and fro weeping, carrying his bag of seed,
Shall indeed come again with a shout of joy, bringing his sheaves with him” (Psalm 126:6).

When I think about the deep trials those around me are suffering, as they go about plowing their fields in the day to day, I am thankful that our present heartaches are not what we end with. Sometimes, the trials are so heavy, our responsibilities become a blur. We just do all we can to push on. At times, we cannot even comprehend anything profitable eluding from the trial. Yet, it is here, while we roughly and tediously sow and where tears abound, that growth happens.

It is just a season. The promise to stand on is, if we keep His commands in it, at the proper time, we will reap joy.

My good friend told me this week, “Souls are like soil that need to be tenderized by tears to open it up, to receive the Word of God and be changed.” Without tears, I know my heart would not allign with God’s. So, I pray that while we have to sow and weep, we keep our eyes set on the Lord, keep our hands committed to His commands, and keep pointing the world to Jesus in it all. For the promises we have are shouts of joy and rich rewards.

It will be worth it, my friend.


My Life Before Christ

This week we celebrated our eldest son, Jonah turning 16 and naturally it brought me down memory lane. I was only 19 when I was pregnant with him. My life was a mess. It still makes me cringe to think about, ugh! But, the outcome is profusely deserving of returning my thoughts to those days.

“Who gave himself for us to redeem us from all wickedness and to purify for himself a people that are his very own, eager to do what is good” (Titus 2:14).

I couldn’t begin to tell you in this small blog post the darkness my life was in back in the year 2001, except to say I lived for myself. Numero uno. I really didn’t care who I hurt. I didn’t care what I did. Didn’t really care if I was pleasing God. I just did not care. I lived to “have fun.”

“I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh” (Ezekiel 36:26).

You always hear of people hitting rock bottom. For me, I found myself expecting a baby, my little Jonah. It was during this time that I said “Lord, I give you my life. I don’t want to live for myself anymore. I know You are real. I know I need you to forgive me and lead me and help me.” There, in my tiny blue house in Auburn, Maine I was done living for myself.

And here is where the story gets good.

God swooped in and gave me a new heart. He protected me, tucked me under His wing where I was safe and I could grow. I started going to a Bible church in Auburn and began to sit down with my Bible and really dig into it. I wanted to know what was in there!

What lay ahead was not easy, but even now in the trials of life and sometimes heartache, slowly God continues to make my heart look more like His. He continues to bless my life because I gave it to Him. I never lost out on “fun” because what I thought was fun, was counterfeit. Now, I truly know what fun is, and not only fun, but true peace, true joy, and true love.

After all, that’s why He came and died for me. Jesus came, so that I could have life abundantly.

“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly” (John 10:10).

What Is Great Gain?

My little guy, Jozea is six. He said the other day, “Mom, I love life! I am so glad to be alive!” It made me smile to see such joy displayed in his precious words. If only we could all have that emphatic joy bubbling over each day, just excited to be alive and living life.

“But godliness with contentment is great gain” (1 Timothy 6:6).

Discontentment on the other hand… Yuck! It’s the opposite of how our little Jozea was feeling. It means depression, displeasure, envy, fretfulness, regret, restlessness, uneasiness, and unhappiness… No thanks! There have been times when I have wasted my days feeling this way. Life is way too short to live even one day like this.

If we are discontent inside, there has to be a reason. We can ask ourselves, is it because we are living without Christ and need to reconcile our relationship to Him? The biggest thing- a life without Jesus would leave us discontent.

After that, there are countless reasons our hearts could be discontent. Is it because we can’t change someone in our lives? Is it because we think we should have something that we don’t? Or maybe we are going through a trial that we can’t change. It could be that we aren’t thankful. Perhaps, we let anxiety take over our minds and worry leaves us discontent. Whatever the root of our unhapiness is, we should figure out what is stealing our contentment and put it in God’s hands.

Let’s allign our desires with God’s and think of our circumstances with an eternal perspective. We can remember that our great God is for our good and we can put our trust in Him with whatever it is, even if we have to use sticky notes to remind us.

Absolutely, we can have joy that bubbles over. We can live in contentment and be glad to be alive!

Today’s America

The whirring around me of this country’s turmoil is heightening as the years go on. When we were kids, we dreamed of a safe America, full of hope and security. I know my future seemed to be cacooned in a cozy, safe place to get married in, to raise a family in, and to flourish in. Today, that kind of hope isn’t reality. It was actually a false hope because God told us all along it is going to get worse before it gets better.

“But realize this, in the last days difficult times will come. For men will be lovers of self, lovers of money, boastful, arrogant, revilers, disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy, unloving, irreconcilable, malicious gossips, without self-control, brutal, haters of good, treacherous, reckless, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, holding to a form of godliness, although they have denied its power;…” (2 Timothy 3:1-5).

Sounds like the way people live today. Some might question if we are in fact living in the end times, as historically other times have also been full of despair. But, today things are in place like never before.

And look around…

While everyone thinks about how our great country is sinking, about mental illness and gun laws, I hope we are spending more time dwelling on God’s laws. It’s time to get serious about God and His Word.

He told us it’s coming. He told us to put on the full armor, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes.

It is so important to be getting in God’s Word each day, so that we can know His character, stand on His promises, and be ready. As the world continues in chaos, in the Bible we will find the strength to get through. We really have no idea what we are in for before it gets better.

Meet Me In My Mess

I like a clean house, but let’s be real, we have seven kids. Five are active boys, and one is a toddler who is exploring everything at the moment. I am also homeschooling the five school age kids we have. Sometimes, I can keep up with everything on my plate pretty well for a couple of days, but then the battle of craziness piles up like a tetris game and it is just impossible!

It reminds me of a testimony I heard this week of a lady who was trying her best to live “good,” killing it each day for a few days in a row, and then she just wanted to give up because she couldn’t be good every moment of every day. Nobody can live up to the standard of perfection!

God sent His son, Jesus to die for us knowing we needed a perfect sacrifice to pay for our sin because we are so far from perfect.

“For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and all are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus” (Romans 3:23-24).

Perfection is unattainable. Nobody can do it. In God’s eyes nobody is good, that’s exactly why He sent His Son.

Thankfully, we don’t have to live under the pressure of having to live a perfect life. We need to tell Jesus we need Him. He will meet us in our mess and He will make beauty out of it all.

When One Child is Hurting

Someone once asked a man: which one of your children is your favorite? He responded with, “The one who is hurting the most.” My husband and I can relate to this right now, because recently we have had one who is hurting. Our thoughts are so often with this one, and it is hard on us knowing some things we cannot just swoop in and fix. We would do anything to make things better for them.

How quickly we want to fix our children’s broken hearts, but at times, it is just plain impossible. Our great Heavenly Father loves us with an even greater love than we have for our children. When we need Him to fix life, His heart is turned towards us!

“…This I know, that God is for me” (Psalm 56:9).

We, as parents, have limitations, but God has no limitations. He promises to deliver us out of ALL of our afflictions. And He is able!

“Many are the afflictions of the righteous,
But the Lord delivers him out of them all” (Psalm 34:19).

Nothing But a Trail of Love

Today, marks three years since my grandfather passed away. Memories of him are sweet, gentle, funny and filled with smiles because he lived his life for the Lord. Here behind him, trickles nothing but a trail of love, a legacy worth of treasures for his family and friends to think on, where neither moth nor rust can destroy. He knew what it meant to store up treasures in heaven. One of my last memories of him is standing next to him in church raising hands, worshiping our Savior.

God is so good to remind us He cares. On Sunday, our worship team at church sang one of my grandpa’s favorite songs. “I Can Only Imagine,” and we sang about what it will be like to see Jesus face to face for the first time. Our pastor spoke on heaven and even mentioned my grandpa’s favorite verse.

“Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God; believe also in me. My Father’s house has many rooms; if that were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you?” (John 14:1-2).

What are you storing up? What kind of legacy are you leaving behind? Life on earth is so very short and we never know when our time is up. I hope that the trail we leave behind is like my grandpa’s, nothing but a trail of love, because of the hope we have in Jesus.