The Christian walk is not always an easy one. If I had to count how many times I've lost focus, turned away, or have gotten lazy, I could come up with quite a large number. Can anyone relate? Just yesterday my husband and I were talking about this very thing and how strong our sin natures really are!
I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out.For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. So I find this law at work: Although I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God’s law; but I see another law at work in me, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within me. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death? Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord! Romans 7:15,18-19, 21-25
But as we were talking about our frustrations and disappointments in ourselves, something occurred to me. Satan condemns. God convicts. It's so tempting to think things like, "What is wrong with me?" "Why can't I do what I'm suppose to do" "I'm a terrible christian, wife, mother, friend, etc", but these thoughts are not of God. You see how sneaky our adversary can be?! Without even realizing it, we fall prey to his traps. We are an easy catch. All it takes is a whisper.
It made me start thinking about what a gift conviction is. When God is convicting me, He's calling me back. His conviction is literally His love being poured out on me. We are not condemned because we're not defined by our faults. We're defined by our God. And His conviction is God putting our hearts back in line with His.
God will always show us a way out. He loves us and is patient, merciful, and kind. Jesus can make all things new…ALL things…even hot messes like myself! I look back on who and where I was even just 10 years ago and I stand amazed at what God has done. His fingerprints are all over my life and He has truly given me a new heart.
I still struggle with sin. We all will until these leaky vessels get their final makeover but until then, when I feel His holy conviction setting in, I choose to smile KNOWING that I am feeling God drawing me near. What a blessing to be loved and drawn by Him.